Alan K. Henderson's Weblog

Even if these values can be traced to African roots, there is nothing liberating in the embrace of doctrines that have succeeded nowhere in the world, certainly not in Africa. Ujamaa, the fourth principle of Kwanzaa (Swahili for "familyhood," from the Arabic for "community," translated by Karenga as cooperative economics), was the very word used by former Tanzanian President Julius Nyerere when he forcibly relocated tens of thousands of his citizens to collective farms in a disastrous socialist experiment. Nyerere actually suppressed an existing coffee cooperative that did not conform to his theories, while demonizing the Swahili concept of soko huria, or free markets.

"First we'll coax Saddam out of his bunker with a trail of delicious candy. Then, once his belly is full and he's all sleepy and happy, we'll calmly explain that we don't approve of what he's been doing and it's not very nice and we wish he'd stop. And he'll be like, ‘Whoa, I never thought of it that way. You guys are my friends! I like you!’ And then everybody will hug and cry, and then get a little embarrassed about crying, and then make some jokes to cover up being embarrassed. And then a beautiful rainbow will appear, and a shy unicorn will walk down it, and Saddam will ride it to the North Pole, and he'll spend the rest of his life helping Santa make wonderful toys for all the good little girls and boys, and there'll be hot chocolate, and, and, and nobody will ever ever die again for any reason ever." -- Jim Treacher

Hugo Weaving as Elrond. Try as I might, I can’t help but expect Elrond to bust out with, "Good afternoon, Mr. Anderson."

According to the Geneva Convention, the only information that a prisoner of war is obliged to give his captors is his name, rank and date of birth.

The convention states that physical or mental torture or other forms of coercion to obtain any kind of information cannot be inflicted on prisoners of war… and that prisoners who refuse to answer cannot be threatened, insulted or exposed to any kind of disagreeable or disadvantageous treatment.

The latticework is to contain wind turbines, which are projected to generate up to 20% of the electricity used in the building. I haven't investigated this, but I hope they're doing something to manage the risks of 1) noise and 2) dead birds.

The Clintons' policy has been A.B.D. - Anybody But Dean. They don't want Dean, or anyone else they can't control, getting control of the Democratic apparatus. The party machinery, now firmly run by Terry McAuliffe, directs funds to favored candidates and pays for much of the Clintons' political operation.

So if Dean is the candidate, how can he avoid the McGovern problem - getting knifed in the back by his own party leaders? Take a hostage, Hillary, and put her on the ticket.

She would bring him a cachet he now lacks, give him support from the party's center and guarantee the full and enthusiastic support of the popular ex-president and his backers. And putting a woman on the ticket would, by itself, make a big difference.

She suddenly has a new potential rival for the 2008 nomination - Al Gore.

The former vice president's un-retirement, signaled by his endorsement of Howard Dean, makes him a potent possible rival for Hillary. With his bold support of the peace movement's darling, Dean, Gore may get an edge among the party's new masters - its left wing.

Hillary may also worry that Dean might choose someone like Gen. Clark as VP. Such a choice would immediately lift Clark into contention for the 2008 nomination, making it a tough three-way race where it had once appeared a cakewalk for the former first lady.

If Hillary ran with Dean, she'd eliminate Clark from contention and would overshadow Gore in her support for Dean, regaining ascendancy on the party's left. The national exposure would acclimate people to her running for national office and their defeat would be chalked up to Dean, not to her.

Whatever happens to Saddam Hussein from this point on, he can consider himself a lucky man. History tells of similar tyrants who did not emerge from a hiding place to medical examinations, humane treatment and judicial protections.

The Byzantine Emperor Andronicus I Comnenus seized the throne in 1183 and ruled with terror and violence, much like Saddam. As the historian Edward Gibbon told it, one day in September 1185, a crowd gathered in the church of Sancta Sophia in Constantinople to commiserate about their oppression. "But their lamentations were soon turned to curses, and their curses to threats," Gibbon wrote. "They dared to ask, 'Why do we fear? Why do we obey? We are many, and he is one: our patience is the only bond of our slavery.'" They rose up and deposed Andronicus, who was captured trying to flee the city.

He was brought in chains before the new emperor, who left him to the tender mercies of the citizens. The crowd proceeded to remove Andronicus’ hair, teeth, one eye and one hand. He was then tied to the backside of a mangy, sick camel and paraded through the streets, where people hit and spat at him. Andronicus was finally suspended upside-down between two pillars, where people continued to strike at him. He cried to the crowd, "Why will you bruise a broken reed?" At last, two soldiers, whether through anger or pity, plunged swords into him, putting a final end to his torture.

And now for the International Football Leage games scheduled this weekend. The Paris Revolutionaries will host the Berlin Axis. The Tokyo Kamikazes are headed across the Pacific to battle the Alamagordo Fallout. The Spanish Inquisition will play the Jihad in Riyadh. The Washington Snipers will be on the road against the Oklahoma City Bombers. The Moscow Commissars hope to continue their three-game winning streak when they face the Chicago Machine in Soldier Field. The Mongolian Horde has the bye-week. Back to you, Chet.

Iraq's coalition government claims that it has uncovered documentary proof that Mohammed Atta, the al-Qaeda mastermind of the September 11 attacks against the US, was trained in Baghdad by Abu Nidal, the notorious Palestinian terrorist.

Iraq, Syria, and Libya have all harbored the group and given it training, logistical support, and funding, often using the ANO as guns or hire. Abu Nidal began working with Iraqi intelligence while representing Fatah in Baghdad, experts say. He formed his organization with Iraq’s help and began by attacking Syria and the PLO. In 1983, Iraqi President Saddam Hussein expelled Abu Nidal and his group in an attempt to win American military support for Iraq’s 1980s war with neighboring Iran. Once the war ended, Iraq resumed its support of Abu Nidal.

After being expelled from Iraq, the organization moved to Syria, where it worked to undermine peace plans involving Jordan, Israel, and the PLO. In turn, Syria expelled the Abu Nidal Organization in 1987, probably under U.S. pressure to distance itself from terrorists, at which point Libya took it in. In 1999, in an attempt to rid itself of international sanctions, Libya kicked out the Abu Nidal Organization.

"Our position on Taiwan and China remains the same: The president does not support Taiwan independence and opposes any unilateral steps by Beijing or Taipei that would alter Taiwan's status," White House spokesman Scott McClellan.

In a news item in which Harvey described the bloody nature of cockfight gambling in Iraq, he said: "Add to the thirst for blood a religion which encourages killing, and it is entirely understandable if Americans came to this bloody party unprepared."

Very few SFSU faculty members separate their political platforms from the professor's podium. When a professor in the Philosophy department teaches Marxism with the zealotry of a new convert, it is totally understandable; but when a Linguistics professor pushes socialist ideas instead of explaining sentence structure, or a Geography professor slaps slogans of the extreme left-wing organization International ANSWER on her office door (paid for by taxpayers with differing political views), it becomes another matter altogether.

Obviously, being busy with teaching and promoting world change, these professors have overlooked the well-known fact that Marxist ideology failed the test in every country where it was applied. Completely unchastened by the failure of socialism, these individuals still harbor the dream of a Union of American Socialist Republics. It is not my duty to enlighten them about the events of modern history or to correct their outdated '60s-era radical political views. But unfortunately, their obsession affects their job performance and ruins education systems all across the county.

These academics assume that all the students have the same anti-American and anti-Bush opinions they uniformly hold. So instead of the material listed in the syllabus, they present soliloquies about American imperialism.

Last summer, one of my professors started every class with Orwellian "Five-Minute Hate" condemnations of President Bush. The instructor did not understand how ridiculous he looked: a 50-year-old guy in sandals and a worn-out jacket with hanging threads, who didn't make it to an Ivy League university, giving hysterical speeches calling President Bush "a moron" and "a good for nothing idiot."

I noticed a recurring pattern in SFSU's anti-American professors: the degree to which a professor condemned American “imperialism” was usually in direct proportion to his lack of personal hygiene and steady decline in personal appearance.

I was especially fascinated by one middle-aged guy who had alcoholism written all over his face, in bathhouse flip-flops revealing dirty overgrown toenails, and with his belongings stuffed in a plastic grocery bag. If I hadn't seen him behind the teacher's desk, I would have mistaken him for one of San Francisco's deranged homeless, lost on the campus having wandered from the neighboring shower program...

Over time I found the inverse proportion worked as well: the more well-kept and professional the teacher was, and the harder he worked, the less inclined he was to get himself into the mess of quasi-political discussions instead of the work he was paid to do: teach.

Lesbian women, said Midler, "they can look at each other from across a crowded room, and suddenly, they're mates for life. You know, they'll go out for a Coke, and they'll just be, you know, move in, and that'll be the end of it."

But for gay men, the songstress said, things are different.

"Many of the homosexual men that I know ... you know, they like to move around. They like to have – you know, they're – that's part of it. That's part of the fun of being a gay man.

"So if they're married," Midler wondered aloud, "does that mean they're not going to cheat, they're only going to be with one?"